Dear John Dickelson, manager of Dickin's shop.
Two days ago I, *name* bought a few Kg's of Avocado.Today i decided to use them for my nephew's birthday cake, however, i was displeased to find out that the avocado's weren't as "fresh" as your store made them to be, in fact, they weren't even edible.I tried one and after i looked at the bite i saw that there was something that isn't supposed to be there, it was a nest, with a few dozen ants inside.After i managed to extract the ants from my mouth, upon closer inspection i have discovered that 2/3 of the avocado's where filled with ants.
Therefore i am going to sue you for attempted killing and fake marketing.
See you in court!
*name*
